What really matters

As the title says, I'm realising what really matters as I transition into life without the hormones I once knew. I went to see a new Dr. She wasn't free, but worth every cent. I have been ordered very specific tests, and given the exact time to get them done during my cycle (in line with all the info I researched online), which is unlike my previous Dr's advice. I already trust my new GP. Only problem is, after my last cycle, which barely seemed worth the effort, I am now overdue. Nope, not pregnant. Just aging. So, it's play the waiting game.

The waiting game kinda sucks though. I have been absolutely flattened. Fatigue and killer headaches daily is a bit of a downer. Not a fan of hot flushes either. I have had just enough energy to complete the simplest tasks. Another unfair side effect of hormonal decline is this: regardless of the amount of sleep I get, I am still wiped the next day.

This has been the perfect opportunity to realise what really matters in my life right now. 

And what does matter to me is this...

• Family. My husband, and three beautiful daughters who all live with me. I feel so incredibly blessed to have all my babies under my roof, including the grown up ones. I know my eldest girl has plans to move soon, so I'm enjoying it all while I can.
• My toddler. My little girl is a total delight. I adore this stage of development, love her cuddles and her too cute little ways. Messy, but fun times :)
• Cooking. It's slowly cooling down- during the evenings and nights at least, which means I can get back to making great meals. I love experimenting with food and feeding my family.
• My God. He is my rock. Seriously, faith during hard times is such a support. And being part of the worship team is the best! I find myself singing more at home and literally feel my cares floating away. I had my first time on stage for years 2 weekends ago. It was awesome and felt like I hadn't left. I am a part of the best team of people- so grateful.
• I love doing my writing degree. I am learning so much, albeit slowly, and it's spurring me on to write more and more. Having this as a goal to complete is motivating. I may struggle some weeks, but I get there in the end, and I know the benefits of constantly keeping my mind active and learning new things.
• My health. I am not doing so well at keeping gym up, however, I am managing to exercise 3 times a week. I ride my bike to Saturday cleaning, walk my toddler to and from care on Wednesdays and do manual labour on Thursdays, so I am keeping  active. If I could throw in one day of gym with that, and perhaps another bike ride, I'd be at the level I'm trying to achieve to beat this fatigue. Easter treats aside, I have brutally overhauled my diet too. I don't want to age poorly, so I have cut back on foods I know don't benefit my health. The weight loss alone has been such an incredible motivator! 

Below are some pictures that just make me smile...

My toddler has discovered life on the other side...of the kitchen gate. Here, she is saying hello to Goliath the gold fish. 

This once neatly stacked pile of nappies entertained a little someone for the best part of half an hour. 

Bed hair and pj's aside, I love this picture. My sweet little girl just loves mumma cuddles, and having her snuggle into me is the best thing in the world for me too. 

Love this season with her.

This is the brunch I had with my eldest daughter. So healthy! I love our cafe visits as we both share a love of good coffee and healthy food.

These are not healthy! They are, of course, my mini white choc cheesecakes. I made them for a Women's event at our church- 60 mini bites of sweet naughtiness :)

I made a slightly bigger one for my awesome hubby. 

This is a sample of my current eating: zucchini slices, cherry tomatoes and a small chicken thigh, cooked in minimal oil with a hint of soy. Simple, clean eating and a healthy dinner. 

This is my Monday baking staple: banana bread. this one is peanut butter, choc chip banana bread to be precise. Great snack for hubby while at uni, and my toddler when at care.

We had a lamb roast for Good Friday. As my middle girl doesn't like lamb, and I was low on veg, I decided to make a focaccia. This was the first rising stage. So worth the time and effort to make bread from scratch- it really isn't hard at all, and nothing beats the taste or smell.

There you have it, the core things I am grateful for at present. I will get through this season and find my way to my new normal. And bring some great recipes your way too.

Until next time, thanks for reading :)

Community Garden weeks 6 & 7

It's update time! 

The further we go on this community garden journey, the more we realise we have undertaken a HUGE project. It can feel at times as if we aren't making much progress at all, even though we are. It's all about laying the foundations for something amazing to develop, slowly but surely. And something amazing is indeed developing. Follow the pics below for a peek at the latest work undertaken.

A clean, open space. The lawns are constantly trimmed and the area at the top of the gardens looks fresh and loved. 

Hubby and I have 3 dedicated workers on site each Thursday- 2 are Work for the Dole recipients and one is a faithful, hard worker, Ben, from our church. All 3 guys do a simply brilliant job and as a team, we  function well together. 

I say this, because with my exhausting menopause transition, some workers with injuries, and un-seasonal high temps, we all manage to work well at our individual tasks.

This area housed the old creche sandpit. Week 6, I made it my mission to completely clean this area up. 

It took the better part of the day, but I did it. Satisfaction right there!

Now we have a clear space to work and store things neatly.

Hubby leveling out the ground to create another pathway. One of the workers did a brilliant job on the first half of the path. Soon, we will have a linked walkway from both ends of the garden.

At the bottom of the slope, we have the base of a pathway!

My other goal for week 6 was to mulch and plant 2 vines on the slope. Job done. Though the weeds are quite another issue. I figured, best to weed a little, plant the vines and attack the rest later, or nothing good will ever start to grow. The vines will eventually choke out the weeds anyway.

We are up to week 7 now. This is the start of more garden beds. The edging will be concreted, and make an easy path to mow around, and create a garden bed to weed, mulch and plant out under the trees.

The cardboard looks unsightly, but one thing I have discovered about this daisy weed, it's almost immune to weed spray. Choking out light seems to be the best option. 

The slope now has a retaining wall. Hubby and Ben worked hard this week digging holes and concreting the supports in. Small steps and the garden is taking shape!

One week after planting and my bougainvillea is looking healthy! Can't wait for this to spread and erupt in stunning pink flowers all over the slope. Even when not I flower, the variegated leaves add colour too.

I love garden bridges. This picture, courtesy of Pintrest, is the dream...

...aaaaand this is the current reality :)

Least we can get the mower over easily. 

Thankfully, it's only temporary. 

There you have it, a few more weeks done and dusted. So excited to bring you more updates soon! 

Thanks for reading guys :)

Attack of the Super Vague Fairy

Odd title, but it completely sums up how I feel. I'm too vague to remember quite when it happened, but she got me good. 

Life is interesting when the lights are on but no one is home. So is driving! Hubby sent me for an errand to the hardware store a few days ago. It's about a ten minute drive. A straightforward drive.

I got lost. 

I ended up outside my gym, a little confused, though I do vaguely remember dreaming about pumping iron and getting my bod way stronger. I pondered entering briefly, before realising I was dressed for gardening, not in my fabulous active wear. 

At this stage, I'm wondering if I should even be driving?!

I wanted to write up a clearly readable post with things I did under each day. Currently, this is how I remember it...

Monday

Stuff happened...I think.

Tuesday

More stuff happened. Pretty sure I was at the Dr's at some point.

Wedensday

Nope. Drawn a blank.

You get the picture.

A Dr's visit earlier in the week confirmed something I had secretly suspected. My hormones are at menopausal levels. It's any wonder I'm vague. And dizzy. And fatigued. Gosh, what a fun life season this isn't!

I got my eyes tested. I have great long sight for my age. It's my short sight that is letting the team down. New glasses it is...when I can afford them. 

By far, the most distressing thing I discovered this week was this: a grey eyebrow hair!!! That one discovery shocked me more than my hormonal headaches have. It's the one outward, hard to hide sign that I am indeed aging. My physical appearance is changing along with my chemical make up. Just like that.

And that is why I am deciding to lighten up, and not just my hair colour. I want to enter this new season with joy. Granted, a little hard when symptoms determine your day, and sadly, night. But there is hope! Laughter, joy and gratitude go a long way in making a burden lighter.

I have stopped taking the pill. It wasn't suitable for me at all. All it did give me was pregnancy like symptoms and raging, evil headaches. Despite telling my Dr it makes me feel worse, she didn't take me off it- her fear is I may get pregnant. Even if my levels miraculously come down from menopausal to normal, shouldn't that be my decision to make?! Second opinion time I'm sad to say. And on that note, no matter how much you trust, and like, your current GP, never ever be afraid to seek a second opinion. Dr's are human, and as human's, we all have our own bias and opinions. If something doesn't seem right to you, or you genuinely feel you aren't being heard, seek advice from another. 

As I am very forgetful currently, I will have to present my week through pictures. Note, in random order, of course :)

A beautiful beach sunrise on Saturday. I needed to soak this in before heading to clean for a couple of hours.

My eldest baby came home after 2.5 months in Japan! 

We gourmet lunched it- hot chips by the creek.

I confess, not enjoying the still humid, summer tempts in what should be autumn, but I do love that I live close to the water.

Nice lunch time views.

With a massive new development going on behind us, swamp creatures are emerging. Thankfully, just a snake in our yard for now.

Hubby wanted me to snap the completed fencing, so here it is. He did good. 

Looks great, and just needs some touching up of black paint to spruce up the old fence panels.

Not a lot to comment on for the community garden this week. I personally struggled through the day with massive fatigue and headaches. Still, progress occurred, like here- Ben & hubby creating yet another pathway.

I did manage to mow, despite the challenge with my health and the heat. I'm amazed at how much fitter I am, even when I feel flat. Tackling this kind of ground is easy now.

Go me!

My sweet little girl.

She melts my heart daily.

Love this little bun.

She looks so grown up already.

Sniff.

But then, she shared daddy's chocolate and reminded me, she is still my baby girl.

Sweet little chocolate bunny.

This week included way more veg based meals. It feels good to fill up on what my body needs, not what my emotions want.

Hubby, my toddler and I went to Coolangatta for lunch and found a new space to eat. With great food and views like this, we'll be back.

There you have it, my muddled, yet wonderful week. I will keep you informed on my menopause journey, and hope to throw some great recipes in somewhere too.

Until next time, thanks for reading. 

Pushing through with gratitude

It's the crazy hormone lady again.

My Dr assured me I should feel better within a week of commencing the pill. I was so excited to once again experience hormonal balance and a bit more normality. That is not the case. If possible, I actually feel worse, like my teenage years in reverse, with waaaaay less energy. 

I've been an utter teary mess today. Over the weekend, I was impossibly fatigued with an even shorter fuse. This is craziness. There has to be a solution, and I won't stop 'til I find it. I am going back to my Dr tomorrow, and then getting my eyes checked. I need to accept that perhaps my blurry eyesight isn't fluctuating hormone related. Hopefully one problem can be solved quickly.  I like the thought of rockin' some new specks :) Then I will have to shop to match them with a fabulous wardrobe of course.

In the meantime, its important I push through with gratitude.

The community garden project is definitely a challenge, but also a source of gratitude. I'm loving researching the type of garden that I not only want, but is realistic on our current budget and available time. Look below at some images Pinterest browsing has inspired me with...

I fell in love with these giant, purple/blue agapanthus flowers at Mt Tamborine. 

I already have several tube stock in my back yard, just waiting to be planted. They are easy care, easy to divide and make a stunning border plant or clumped together in a mass planting. 

I love bougainvillea. I have been searching for a while for plants that weren't dwarf forms-we have a large space to fill, and weren't over my budget. I found a pink one like this a few days ago, priced reasonably. Can't wait to see transform a large area of slope with a stunning show.

I adore the masses of flowers and heavenly perfume of jasmine. It's another winner for a ground cover on a slope.

It does tend to grow like a rampant weed, which suits the site perfectly. Several metres of space will be covered in no time.

I look forward to showing you these plants soon, growing on site :)

Today was my usual Make-it-Monday; food prep for the week ahead. It included: high protein banana bread; hubby's protein balls; my toddler's vegemite sanga's- cut, frozen and ready for her lunch box; wraps for hubby to take to uni and also his lunch for today. I am learning that especially when your emotions and hormones are going crazy, by making the effort to plan ahead, lots of drama and stress can be avoided. Dinner tonight will also serve as great left-over lunches for the next few days. 

The day was not spent alone. My sweet little girl kept me very busy. Today, she...

• showered me with affection,
• helped me shop, though I wasn't allowed to push the trolley. considering she was sitting in it at the time, fun!!
• unpacked my dirty laundry all over the floor, and wore some as a hat, 
• dug up the garden mulch and dirt, carrying it all over the back yard, 
• splashed away in the birdbath before overturning a pot with dirt into it,
• trashed the lounge room, 
• dragged the shoe rack away from the wall, threw the shoes and then chose some to wear around the lounge while staring at her feet, 
• allowed me to help her carry the wheelie bin back in from the curb, 
• picked the chicken out of her dinner and left the pasta and veg.

She is my delight! I am so incredibly grateful for her. And also worn out. 

Wouldn't have it any other way :)

In the morning, I am thrilled to say, I pick up my eldest baby from the airport after her 2.5 month stay in Japan. I've missed her lots, but so glad she has had this experience and found a lot more direction. 

I am so blessed to have all 3 of my girls home with me. Proud mumma.

 Now, take a look at some pics of today's triumphs...

High protein banana bread, with 3 frozen bananas, 3/4's cup of crunchy peanut butter, 2 eggs, chia seeds, almond meal and a hint of wholewheat SR flour to bind, roughly mixed, bunged into a greased loaf tin and into a 180 C oven for 30-40 mins. Too easy. 

And too yummy. 

My sweet little toddler, moments before the dirt filled the bird bath.

Tonight's simple, budget dinner: pasta with chicken and veg.

I purchased a kilo of drumsticks for less than $6. The 14 drumsticks were simply placed into 2 lightly greased baking dishes, covered with spices, covered with foil, and baked in a 180 C oven for 45-50 minutes.

I used the meat off 4 drumsticks to make tonight's dinner, which was cooked pasta, some mixed veg and some juices from the cooked chicken, mixed it together with a little added mayo and a hint of cheese. 

I also now have chicken to use in rice paper/ salad wraps, sandwiches and the like. 

My week is sorted!

And here, I sigh. It feels so good to share. Burdens are lifted, focus is restored. 

And with that, I shall go for now. Have a brilliant week, dear readers. Until next time :)

Community Garden Week 5

This sums up my Thursday quite well- dirty work with lots of shoveling involved. 

I love it!

This week was all about making substantial visual progress, and defining areas. Hubby and I are both over just mowing and keeping the area clear. Thankfully, with a ride on now, we need not stress about hand mowing a few times each week; one hour spent on the ride on, and the weeds are down. Though I admit- the cardio was awesome with the push mower :)

Today involved making good use of the absolute abundance of free mulch we already have. Since commencing this project, we discovered that the local tip now charges for green waste disposal, and no longer provides cheap mulch anymore. Bit of a bummer. However, all is not lost.

Hubby hooked the trailer up and drove it down to where we had been piling leaf litter. Two trailer loads were carted up and dumped down a large slope. The recent heavy rain has made the ground a little boggy, so the rest had to be done by hand. I started raking up piles, and later, when our amazing helper, Ben, turned up, wheelbarrow load after load went onto the slope as well. Great use of a free resource. 

I have personally always wanted a little fence to define the garden space. I got my way today! Hubby decided to put in several treated pine posts and loop a chain over them for a simple fence. It will deter drive downs and rubbish dumping. Hopefully.

With this fence in place, and a string line and marker stakes, we have a visual area to fill with mulch, and then with bougainvillea vines. I want to use them as a ground cover and create a tropical, colourful and hardy shrubby cover that will flower most of the year. I've been scouting for specials and found some plants for $9 each today- an absolute bargain!

I also had what I thought was a brilliant idea for bench seating. Watch this space!

Take a look below at the progress of the day...

Trailer loads of mulch went onto the slope. We weren't very discriminatory- small branches, sticks and rocks made it in too. It will all be hidden when planted out.

One half of the mulched slope, and the nearer half lightly turned over with a rake to prepare for mulching. This way, it's easier to tackle weeds coming through without the use of heavy chemical weed killers.

Once all the available mulch had been collected and dumped onto the slope, I had the tough job of watering it down.

I'm totally impressed with hubby's simple fence. It gives a visual clue that a garden space is being created.

Theses are some saved logs from earlier tree lopping. Hubby is digging them  into the new pathway he is constructing to give the slope stability.

If you notice in the background, large sheets of cardboard have been put under the trees. This area will be mulched as well, and a garden created. The cardboard should act as a weed killer.

If you can avoid chemicals- do it.

Log number one going into the ready made trench before being buried and packed in.

One down, a lot to go!

Team effort here. 

Ben is compacting the sand, hubby is shoveling the gravel that I dug up and carted in the wheelbarrow. 

With this pathway almost complete, we have plans to add an offshoot to it, and some more pine logs to define the entrance way.

There will another pathway further up, near the newly mulched and fenced slope. Some nice signage isn't far away either.

I have already started my plant collecting. I am keeping them alive in my tiny yard, desperately keen to get them planted. I can't wait to create a visually beautiful, scented, flowering area for people to enjoy.

Sigh. I heart gardening.

That is your lot for today. I'm looking forward to bringing you even more progress soon!

Until then, thanks for reading :)

Enjoying the Journey

It's 4am and here I am, blogging away. Another joyous side effect of my hormones' death spiral before menopause- sleep as I knew it is history. Probably doesn't help that our complex's security lighting timer is off, and 3:30 this morning, it shone like the dawn right outside the bedroom window.

This week has been quite a busy one yet again. With uni starting, and a real estate inspection due (cleaning, cleaning, cleaning!), it's been non stop action every day. In all the busyness, I am still trying to find time to exercise.

Since my trainer has taken off overseas after successfully completing his Master's, I feel a little lost at gym, so decided to try a step class. I have honestly never met a friendlier bunch of people. But that didn't help me at all. It was my worst nightmare- super speedy, choreographed moves that left me looking just a little out of place. Ok, I was completely out of step and time to everyone else and ended up making up my own moves. I also discovered this- my legs are already super strong from a month of intense personal training. 

As a dear 71 year old lady insisted I move near her (and no where near the exit!) for guidance, when it was clear I just couldn't keep up, and the boredom kicked in, I had to make a non graceful exit half way through the class and hit the treadmill instead. 

I did learn from this experience however. You can still smash out a step class at 71! But for now, I shall stick to weight training.  

And riding my bike. 

Which brings me to the inspiration for today's post: enjoying the journey. 

With uni starting back up, I really wanted to get into as much of it as possible to keep up from the start, unlike previous semesters. It was while reading through course material I discovered this; one of my unit's is for 2nd year and beyond. I am first year. 

I asked my lecturer about this, who in turn suggested I contact the course coordinator. And in the process of doing this, I already know what I'm going to do. Drop the unit. 

My little girl is going through an adorable stage. She is super affectionate, just loves spending time with me, wants lots of cuggles and is getting cuter, and much better at talking, daily. One subject at a time is enough for this season. I will still get a degree, it will just take longer. And the bonus- more time to enjoy my little girl. And ride my bike. That's my kinda cardio.

Win win really.

Though my hormones are going crazy, I am actually starting to feel a peace and contentment about life. Yay- wisdom does come with age!

Now, to food. Enjoying the journey also means eating good food. By good food, I don't mean Tim Tams guys. Or the most expensive meals. It does mean feeding your body what it needs, not just what your emotions crave.

Hubby has had to cut back on purine rich foods. This means bacon is out. I for one am thrilled. As he is now back travelling to Brisbane for uni twice a week, I need to  prepare meals that can serve as sustaining lunches for his 14 hour plus days. 

Budget is still an issue, so the challenge is on. This dinner was a winner all round I'm happy to say :)

VERY VEGGIE QUICHE

ingredients:

Several cups of whatever grated veggies you have on hand. I had

• a large brown onion, 1 zucchini, sweet potato, pumpkin
• plus 1 cup frozen peas, corn, carrot mix
• 6 eggs
• 1 chicken breast
• 2 sheets puff pastry
• 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
• spices and seasoning of choice (I used salt, pepper, garam masala, chilli flakes)
• 1/2 cup lentil flour
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• butter or olive oil

method:

• pre-heat oven to 200 C
• defrost puff pastry sheet and line greased baking dish (I only used one sheet of pastry so I could enjoy the meal without the guilt)
• saute chicken til just cooked. place in a mixing bowl
• saute veg on low heat in a little butter or olive oil until soft. add to the mixing bowl
• add the cheese, seasoning, lentil flour, sour cream- mix
• add beaten eggs
• bake for 35-40 mins or until slightly firm to touch
• serve hot or cold

A simple, veggie filled, nutritious budget family meal that also makes a great lunch the next day.

Enjoy :) 

Simple fare but oh so delish.

I shall end this post with a random gift of kindness that arrived in the post the other day.

I LOVE this kettle!

It has temperature settings for different teas, and coffee.

Amazing. 

And a keep warm function, and temperature gauge, and timer...

Thank you, Kylie Mozer.

Your gift, and heart, is awesome!

Appreciated x

Until next time, have a fantastic day :)